Thinking of You

Yesterday, Elisabeth forwarded me this post from Design Mom--it's a letter from a mother to her daughter who died shortly before being delivered at 36 weeks. {Disclaimer--this is so sad. Do not read it if you are in a public place unless you are a pretty crier and don't feel bad about wiping your nose on your sleeve in public, which is a nice way of saying that you shouldn't read this in public}. She told me that it needed a warning (see above) because it would make me sob, but I figured that she was exaggerating a little bit--cut to two minutes later, with me sitting at my computer sobbing.

The fact is that as we get older (and this has already been true to some extent), we'll all have or know someone who has problems with breakups, loss, job woes, and/or depression. Part of slipping into maturity and cultivating strong relationships is learning how to be a good foul-weather friend: learning how to craft a sympathy note or a note that says, "I'm here for you," rather than hiding out and figuring that your struggling friend will get in touch when she feels like she's ready. For today's gift roundup, I wanted to share some ideas for things that you can share with a friend who may be struggling that are outside of the typical "gifts for a woman who is hurting" realm (soaps and flannel pjs, anyone?). Of course, every person is different, and every friendship is different, but I think that everyone likes to know during a rough patch that someone is thinking about them. 

First off, though flowers may seem cliché, it's for a reason--they're pretty and are a great reminder that someone is thinking about you. Choosing a local florist who sources local flowers is never a bad idea. Pretty earrings never hurt anyone, either.

Left:Elisabeth Ryan Floral Design; Right: Blossom Earrings by The Harbinger Company

This card reminds me of the cat hanging out of the tree, but is way cuter--sock monkeys and tightey whiteys are a good way to keep things on the lighter side, but you can write a really heartfelt message inside. The necklace is a little good-luck charm that is pretty and is a portable reminder that your friend is loved. 

Left: Clothesline Monkey Letterpress Card, Hello!Lucky; Right, Tiny Luck Necklace; Beau and Stella

If you feel like your friend might enjoy a superhero boost, I bet these lightning bolts would fit on a pair of adult shoes. Even if she doesn't wear them in public, it's always nice to know that one of your friends thinks you have superpowers. I also love the feeling of this card--it acknowledges that your friend is going through something rough, but isn't overly sympathetic about it, if that makes sense. I feel like sympathy or thinking of you cards sometimes can border on condescending. Not this one.

Left: Superhero Shoes-Yellow Lightning, Smallfly; Right: Rainy Day Letterpress Card, Letterpress

Do you have a favorite way of telling your friends that you are thinking about them?

Comments

[elisabeth]

And this post is but one reason why you are such a fantastic friend. I've definitely witnessed how powerful these seemingly small gestures can be when someone is struck low by life.

[elizabeth]

For years, I've been partial to the stick figure non-sequitor cards of Hamptone, particularly this one: http://www.etsy.com/listing/22965303/i-wish-i-was-theo-huxtable" rel="nofollow"> I wish...

[miya]

Elisabeth, I wish you had written this post--you always know how to cheer up a girl who is down, and Elizabeth, I totally wish I was Theo Huxtable multiple times a day. That card would for sure put a smile on my face.